The Merciful Homeless
by Anna Bannanna
Summary: I live on the streets, literally. I am homeless. And when I fell in that pit out of desperation, I wasn't expecting falling right into the gates of Hell. (. . .) Ok, FINE, not Hell but... the more closer I get on getting the fuck outta here, the more I get affected by the dark secrets the Underground keeps. And slowly, this place becomes Hell. If it wasn't for the friends I made...
1. Flowey the fuckboi

**My OC curses a lot so if you don't like that, TRIGGER WARNING lol. This is SansxOC story~**

* * *

Ya know you're low on life when you're running away from three homeless guys because you were begging for food in their territory.

Man, where's the love?

Can't they see I'm just an innocent and cute teenage girl who'd like to survive to see the next sunrise? Ugh, I wish I didn't have heavy legs, running up Mt. Ebott was a good idea though, those bastards couldn't run after me forever in here, they too believe in a silly legend within in.

Yeah right, monsters. Who're you gonna call? A fucking psychiatrist.

I wish I had slept last night, but I had to watch out for my sleeping area in case some asshole decided to invade my privacy, so I must've slept like two hours. . . in two days.

Luckily the adrenaline of not wanting to be caught by the violent and possibly rapists angrily after me was keeping me running like a bullet. There's no way they'd catch me, I can adequate myself in any environment. I am a lazy but determinate eighteen-year-old, and right now, I sure as hell knew that I'd rather eat horse-shit for breakfast and dinner than let any of them lice covered men heavily stomping after my poor, chubby, but cute self.

Where's my knight in shining armor? Do they forgot about the homeless damsels in distress? Because I know that we're always screeching in distress from experience.

Fuck a duck.

Why is there a huge-ass pit-hole blocking my path?! Ah shit, don't tell me they're actually gonna…

I look back and I could hear them getting closer. Shit, I know I'm smiling but… I could fight them but only one at the time, the other two dipshits would probably take advantage of my beating their friend's ass to catch me.

And touch me.

Hell-fucking-no.

I look back at the pit and shove my hands in my unzipped grey sweatshirt. Well, this is it. I guess this says much about me: I preferred death than being caught.

Hah!

Suck on my dick world, I'm out!

And so I jumped.

Wow, you know those realistic dreams where you seem to fall on a pt and you jump high as hell in your bed? This is the exact same feeling, but no bed for me. I haven't slept in a real bed in a year. For some weird reason, I didn't yell like Alice while I fell through the rabbit hole, but I sure as hell didn't fell in slow motion, it was fast and I could see the ground approaching my body in nanoseconds.

I decided to turn my back to the ground to not land on my face, if they ever find my body I—

 **THUD.**

.

.

.

"SHIT- FUCK! MY FUCKING FACE!" I yelled to no one. Why the hell was I gifted with cat-like reflexes? Of course that, instead of landing on my "paws" I landed on my face. Luckily I think nothing was broken, I could feel something soft tickling my cheeks. I sniffed it.

And I sneezed right after.

Pollen.

I groan as I pull my body into a crawling position, under me, there's golden-flowers. Beautiful golden flowers, that usually grew around the forest. But… how were they down here?

Fuck it, they probably saved my life. I love flowers! Grinning and looking up, I could see the three shadows of the homeless men staring down, I know that they couldn't see me because when I was up there, I couldn't see the end of this pit either.

Well… more like a cavern. Look at this place… kinda intimidating.

I brushed some petals out of my sweatshirt and sat cross-legged in the comfortable flowers.

.

.

.

What a day. What the hell am I supposed to do now?!

Wait and die?

Explore and die?

Eat these flowers and die?

They do smell good.

My stomach growls adding the cliché of the moment, I slap it sternly and look around. Last thing I ate was a burger and that was fourteen hours ago. I shove my hand in my pocket and take out my pocketknife; sure I could craft something with this baby but… what? There are minerals, flowers and the dim sunlight. Hm… must be getting dark, well it _was_ pretty late in the afternoon when my little race started so I knew I was going to camp here. It's not so bad actually, this flowers are the closest that I have for a bed, they're really soft.

I sighed and stood up, I arched my back a little since I was a bit sore but nothing like a good 'crack' from my spine to relief it. That felt nice. Now, I need to concentrate on finding an exit. The best way to do it is to explore around, maybe this was an entrance to a cavern that would lead me to the outside.

Like I always say to Lucy, gotta stay positive. Even if she's depressed and shit, she allowed me in. But I haven't seen her in two months so I wonder if she's really fine.

Well, not really the time to be thinking about my only friend in the world.

There was a way out. I found a path that continued through a small corridor, and to my damn surprised, a huge-ass door was like, open ahead of me and shit. The door covered the whole wall so it made me feel tinier than I already was. Chubby and short are good qualities for a girl in this modern days. Notice the fucks I give.

None.

Like what's beyond the door: nothing, nada, empty.

But it's pitch dark so I took a step inside with precaution, looking wary around me. Hm. Maybe this is the time to think if there's any wild animals that eat meat.

Neat.

It'd be a savage death.

"Howdy!"

.

.

.

Who the fuck just—

"Down here, silly!" someone giggled.

I look down at the single golden-flower I didn't care to notice. But—oh. OH. OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Check this MOTHERFUCKER out. HA! It was a face, a smiling face!

"I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!" Imma go for a 'he' cuz his voice I pitchy but this damn talking-ass flower was definitely a male.

"Well, lay it on me Flowey. I'm in a state of mind where everything's believable."

"What'da ya mean?" he asked with a bit of a confused expression.

"You expect me to believe that I'm conversing with a talking flower? I must've hit my head back there." I pointed with my thumb to the door behind me.

He seemed to realize something, "Hm… You're new to the Underground, arent'cha?"

"I just fell like, five minutes ago." I shrugged.

God this is insane, a talking flower.

"Golly, you must be so confused…" he said happily, "Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess lil' old me will have to do. Ready?"

"Uh? No wait—"

"Here we go!"

This flower-bitch did not just force me into a freaky-ass area. I glared at Flowey but despise his smile, I could see him staring at my chest. Is he… staring… at… my breas—Oi what the fuck is this red-heart doing here?

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING GLOWING ON MY CHEST?" I bursted out in panic, someone better calm my tits before I start to freak out.

Flowey the asshole seemed to be taken aback by my sudden yelling, but he recovered quickly, with the same happy smile on his face. "That's your soul, the very culminating of your being! Your soul starts off weak, but you can make it strong if you gain lot of LV!"

Well I wanted an explanation and I sure got one.

"What's LV?" I clicked my tongue in annoyance. Where the hell am I, really?

"Why, LOVE, of course!" he grinned.

"Of course," I parroted grimly, "Is "LOVE" a good thing or a bad thing?"

"You don't know what LOVE is?" Flowey tilted his head in confusion, then he showed a sad expression, "Have you ever experienced LOVE, sweetheart?"

"Do not call me that and whatever, I don't need LOVE. I'm good without it." I want to go away from this freaky little thing. He was acting nice but… you can never be too sure. Behind him, I could see another door, just like the one behind me.

"Aw c'mon! I'll share some with you!" he insisted in what is seemed a cute way.

"I said I don't want any of it, now if you excuse me—"

" **IF YOU MOVE A MUSCLE I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND.** "

.

.

.

I couldn't help to smirk at the small flower blocking my way. Fuck the happy smile, I think I was now seeing the real Flowey. An evil little shit he was, look at those hollow eyes, I could only see that expression in nightmares.

"Hah, now that's interesting. Tell me, you're just after my soul arent'cha?" I made sure to mock the words he used against me.

" **THAT'S' RIGHT.** " he smirked in an ironic way. **"I GUESS IT'S DIFFERENT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A KID."**

"Damn straight asshole, I live on the streets. Up there, there are scumbags worse than you."

To my surprise, he started cackling in a sinister and unhuman way. Jesus tap-dancing Christ, what the hell dude?

" **WORSER THAN ME? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?"**

"A flower with acting skills." I deadpanned, trying to swallow the lump forming on my throat.

"Nope~ I'm Flowey and—" he paused, "What. Are. You. Doing?"

"Just admiring my friendliness pocketknife, and thinking about trimming. You?" I smiled at him in a mocking way, did he seriously thought I was unprepared? "I told you buddy, I live on the streets. I know how to FIGHT. So, how about you get the fuck out of my face before something terrible happens to a cute flower like ya?"

He showed fear and annoyance in his expression, and it wasn't creepy at all. Good.

"You…" he mumbled, "Ah geez, I guess older humans are stronger than brats."

I nodded proudly, "Now, go away or—"

I almost dropped my knife when white bullet thingy-s surrounded me in a small circle, it happened so fast that I forgot how to breathe. I look down at Flowey with a grim expression and the little shit is grinning cheerfully at me.

"You though you could intimidate me?" the bullets started to get closer, "Threaten me?"

The circle paused.

" **DIE!"** He screeched excitedly.

Oh shit—

I felt nothing.

Hm? What now? I looked at him and he seemed confused as well.

"Uh… performance issues?" I joked weakly, feeling my legs wobble a bit.

"Wha-?" before he could protest, he was shot away when a fire-ball hit him. Well then, bye, have a beautiful time you little fuck! I glared into the direction he unwillingly was shoved into, and then I slowly glanced at the figure approaching me with heavy steps.

"What a terrible creature, torturing such poor, innocent youth." Oh my God it's a talking and adorable goat. "Ah, do not be afraid my child," Oh my God her voice was literally honey I feel so warm a giddy—shit. "I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down." Well shit, ain't today my lucky day? "You are the first human to come here in a long time."

Oh… so… is there more humans around? A smoll pit of hope lit inside me.

"Come. I will guide you through the catacombs!" she announced, already turning her back at me.

"W-Whoa wait!" I called, pocketing my pocketknife in my jeans, "Where the hell am I lady? I need to leave this place…" I didn't mean to curse at her but it was automatic.

She seemed shocked at my words, then quickly sad, "I shall explain everything to you later, for now, it's not safe to be here. Please, follow me." she was able to give me a smile before walking ahead.

I cringed at my rudeness. Damn I'm so fucking weak sometimes.


	2. The Mother I Wish I Had

I wasn't expecting on falling asleep in a kid's bedroom but shit, I slept on a bed. A BED. Damn that was so comfortable that I was knocked out instantly.

I was tired.

When Toriel led me inside the Ruins, she explained me that they were filled with puzzles and shit she was right. Turns out she was a really dope goat-mom. That's what I decided to call her by the way; she was all flustered but pleased. After going through an "independency exercise" she left my ass alone with the company of a cell phone. I got a phone for free. After conversing with her a long time, I decided to just go ahead and walk on my own, how bad could it be right?

I met a harmless Froggit that laid wise words on me: if a monster is reluctant to fight me I should give them mercy. And that's what I did toward Whimsum and another Froggit that hopped in my way. I grabbed a Monster Candy, SAVED my file, got some determination and continued on.

Moving forward, after many puzzles, I encountered Napstablook. A ghost that really liked to cry and that _really_ reminded me of Lucy, all depressed and shit. I cheered him up and praised him on the trick with the dope hat, but he vanished thinking he was rambling too much. I hope I can see him again… maybe.

Then I found a spider bake sale. First of all, fuck spiders. I hate spiders. I don't even show slight remorse when I stomp on them. Filthy little creatures that make my spine shiver. But hey, I bought a Spider Donut. I really hope it's not made of spiders.

After the spider sale, I talked with three frogs. Then I had to dodge attacks from Loox and not pick up on him, wiggle my hips with Moldsmal, focus on a memory puzzle, push some colored switches and there I was, at Toriel's cozy and warm house. Fortunately there was another of those lights that always allowed me to SAFE and filled my HP up. And for some reason, they always gave me something to be determined about.

I reluctantly opened my eyes and the bedroom was dark. The bed was still comfortable though, and there was a bittersweet scent in the air. After eating the Monster Candy, my stomach was somehow full but I don't mind taking whatever is giving this smell and holding it for later.

I shoved the blankets out of me and quickly noticed something on the floor: it was a piece of pie on a plate. I guess this is the cinnamon-butterscotch pie Toriel told me about. Oh my God did goat-mom left it there? That really sweet of her and shit but I could've accidently stepped on it. I sighed, not being able to really think of her in a negative way. I grabbed the pie and placed it on my ITEM inventory, don't ask me how but it's there, I can feel it.

I exited the room and looked to both sides when I stepped into a hall. Hm… it's rude but I'm so damn curious so I can't help it. I walked to my left and faced a locked door with a sign saying 'Under construction'. Fuck it then. I moved to the next door but first I looked at myself in the long mirror.

 *** It's you, potty mouth!**

"Hah hah…" I laughed sarcastically. I've been getting this random ass voice in my mind sometimes, it was weird but apparently it was only useful for just a few things. It seemed harmless.

I finally made my way inside the last door in the corridor, oh shit this is Toriel's bedroom. Should I really be nosy to the lady who saved me from that goddamn flower? Nope. I walked back and closed the door. Maybe I was curious because I've been living on the streets instead of a house for a year now.

Shit I'm getting sad. I better move and find Toriel to ask her how I get the hell outta here.

I walked further outside the hall and I found myself at the entrance of the house, I curiously peeked at the stairs that led to a lower floor before walking ahead. Oh there she was, cozily sitting in an armchair that seemed fit for her size, by a warm fireplace while reading a book. She was using reading glasses, it was hella adorable.

"Hello how was your sleep?" she asked as soon as she saw me.

"The best I had in a year, actually. It feels good not having to sleep on a alley." I grinned.

She flinched, "Oh my…"

"It's cool. Thanks for the pie."

"You are very welcome child. I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I've also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you, but I've always wanted to be a teacher. Actually perhaps it isn't that surprising. Still… I'm glad to have you living here." She smiled warmly.

Oh fuck. No… she's gonna make me cry. This… what she just said. To have a home like this, a comfortable bed and good food… to have someone that cares about me… I mean holy shit she even got my education ready to be fixed. I'm legally an adult but I didn't finish my last three years of high school because I gave up completely.

Toriel was… really acting like my mother should've.

But…

"Hey, goat-mom… how to I get out of here…?" I ask her, avoiding looking at her.

"Hm what do you mean?"

"How do I get…" I gritted my teeth, " _Home?"_ I hated to call it that.

"This _is_ your home now." She responded with a tight smile.

"It's not that easy Toriel, I don't belong here." I told her more urgently. I don't wanna hurt her feelings but it was the truth.

"Would you like to hear a snail fact? I'm reading 72 uses for snails." She completely ignored me. I sighed.

"I don't give a damn about snails! Stop ignoring me and tell me out to get the hell out of here!" I snapped at her. Maybe in this way she'd listen. Hell… it was the only way my parents did.

She looked apprehensive at me before standing up, "Excuse me, I need to do something." She mumbled before walking away behind me.

Don't run away Toriel… I did.

I chased after her of course, she was not in her room so the logical explanation was that she went down the stairs, which were now unlocked. Wow.

After I walked the last step, I found myself on a long purple corridor, talk about fucking mood changes around this place. Upstairs, happy and cozy, here, spooky and mysterious…

Toriel was right there, not too far. She looked thoughtful. I walked toward her and she must've listened to steps because she started talking.

"You wish to know how to return 'home', do you not?" she started tensely.

"I wouldn't call it that but… yeah…" I mumbled.

"Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the Underground… I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave again." She paused, "Please go back upstairs."

Goat-mom said what?!

Before I protested she stalked ahead quickly, oh shit she doesn't know I'm stubborn? I shook my ahead and followed her. We were in yet another long corridor.

This time she continued before I could say something, "Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave. They die. You… you're not so naïve so you might understand why you're saver in here, with me… If you leave the ruins…" her voice was so sad and grim, it almost made me want to obey here but… I have a huge determination to leave this place.

"Toriel, you don't need to worry about me," I chuckled weakly, "I can protect myself, I… I'm street trained and like you said, I'm not that naïve. I can difference good from bad…"

"They… **Asgore** … will kill you." She deadpanned somberly.

Who the fuck's Asgore?

She took my silence as an answer, "I am only protecting you, do you understand? Please go to your room."

That is NOT my FUCKING room! That is a kid's room!

I followed her again as she continued down at the end of hall. This… goat-woman sure is persistent, I could relate.

"Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning."

I sighed exasperatedly. I can see how desperate she is to start throwing blank threats. What was she going to do? Spank me?

I now followed at the end of the wall; there was a closed door ahead of Toriel. I deduced that this was the door that separated the Ruins for the rest of the Underground. I suddenly felt sick in my stomach…

"You want to leave so badly? Hmpf… You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this."

Hoe don't do it.

"Prove yourself… prove to me you are strong enough to survive." She turned at me with a fierce expression.

Oh my God.

Here I am again, in some kind of arena. Fuck my life! I WILL NOT fight her. Not Toriel, she was everything I could've wanted as a mother.

"Fine, I will." I challenged her, not even thinking on grabbing my pocketknife. This is gonna be a game of dodging and SPARING.

I gulped as I prepared myself for her attacks.

* * *

Holy fuck she can fight. I already lost 10 HP, ten more and I'm fucked. But at least her attacks seemed to get slower and easier to dodge every time I didn't fight back. She was acting less aggressive and she got more worried every time I got hit.

Dodging the fire balls was the hardest thing, shit, how didn't that scumbag flower die in one hit?

"I know you want to go back to that place you call home but," she forced a tired smile. "…please, go back upstairs now. I'll… redecorate the room. I promise I'll take good care of you here."

She's saying the right things. "I'm sorry, I can't." now the fireballs weren't even trying to hit me. I sighed in relief and continued to look at her, full of guilt.

"No… I understand. And you would just be unhappy trapped down here. If you truly wish to leave the Ruins… I will not stop you. However, when you leave… Please do not come back. I hope you understand."

I started to tear up… I won… I prove myself but with what cost? I could hug her but that would hurt her even more. So I simply nodded and stared at my shoes. They look a bit dirty.

"Goodbye my child," I felt her warm paw pat my head and a quiet tear slid down my cheek. "And good luck."

The door opened as Toriel's steps echoed behind me.

…

I fucking hope I get to see her again. I promise I'll have enough determination to come back mom.

* * *

 **Thanks to Jasper's sister and Connie Hooper for being my two first reviewers! Dude, this story already has 100+ views! Nice.**


	3. Spooky Punny Skele-Bros

CAPS LOCK: PAPYRUS.

* * *

I walked down a long corridor, a reeeaaally long corridor before I passed through another doorway into a dark room. And who do I see to greet me there? Flowey.

"Clever. Verrrryyy clever." He started. "You think you're smart, don't you? In this world, it's killed or be killed. So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee…"

I rolled my eyes, "Listen here, Flowey. First of all, I don't think I'm smart, I mean for Christ's sake I'm living in the streets. Second of all, I didn't play by my own rules you dumbass I played by my own conscience. Third, I didn't spare the life of a person, a spared more lives than a single one so if you were stalking me back there, at least pay attention to what you're watching, capiche?" I grinned pitifully at the tiny flower, who was now giving me a frustrated expression. "You don't scare me, your words don't scare me and now I know about your pellet attack so buddy, if I were you I would leave me alone because in this world, it's shut up or you get ripped from the ground by a very pissed off homeless chick. You dig?"

I was passing by him when he started talking again.

"Oh I bet it feels pretty great. Being so confident, strong-willed… _determined._ You didn't kill anyone but what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You'll die and you'll die and you'll die." He chirped with a ripped grin. "Until you're tired of trying…" I turned back at him and he was right under my feet, wearing a friendly smile. "What will you do then?"

He seemed to like my thoughtful and serious expression.

Flowey's expression changed into a demonic one again, "Will you kill out of frustration?"

I sighed and felt my pocketknife on my pocket. Man… this psychological thing is bullshit and he's kinda right but…

"Flowey, what's beyond that door?"

"Hell," he grins.

I roll my eyes, "Listen. I'm not a murderer. Monsters or not, they all have a life. They must have a SOUL, just like me. Even you, even though you're a jerk that tried to kill me – and even when I threaten you – I could never kill you. Injure you I could but never kill." I almost bit my tongue saying that. "Because you're alive, so cut the evil bullshit, okay?"

He stared at me in disbelief and shock and for a moment, I swear I saw a different expression on his face – it was like another person.

But Flowey was gone before I could even memorize it.

"I am the prince of this world's future. Don't worry, my little monarch, my plan isn't regicide. This is _so_ much more interesting." Then he gave that evil cackle that will haunt me forever and vanished underground.

Sigh, well I fucking tried.

What did he meant by that? He's the prince of the future? At least now I know for sure he'll be stalking me.

I guess I ought to give him a good show.

* * *

Listen, if I survived the cold days and nights of winter on a carton box in a wet alley, I can sure as hell guarantee you that this crispy and cool breeze ain't shit.

However…

I can't handle the snow, my shoes were fine last winter but now they have holes. As I stomp through the doorway (that locked itself behind me as soon as I exited) I can already feel snow prickle my socks and wet them.

I shivered. Man thank God I have my faithful hoodie. I immediately cover my head with the furry hood and shove my hands. I'll hand it to you; maybe it's colder here because it's underground… with the caves and shit. There's no weather here, so… I it constant winter?! How is that possible, how the fuck did the snow get underground in the first place?

?

Whatever.

I start taking a step forward and I immediately get ankle burn. Oh fuck me it hurts! I wince and try to warm my legs by leaning on the door and rub each with my free arm, maybe now my muscles will obey.

I finally proceed to go down the creepy forest, the too quiet forest covered in snow. Do these trees even have an end? I don't look up because I don't wanna look like a tourist in New York City. As I sigh, my breath takes form into a smoke bubble, heh… if Lucy was here I would tell her 'hey I'm smoking hot' and she would laugh and call me silly. I never met someone so pure like her.

I leaped over a branch and continued walking, trying to focus on keeping warm. But to my luck, the branch behind me is snapped in half. I look behind me quickly but there's nobody there. It broken though, I can see it from here. I didn't step on it… oh shit.

I turned and started pacing faster, I could see a bridge not that far.

When I reached the bridge I paused when heavy stomps crunching the snow behind me were loud and clear. Oh my God, should I run? Is it harmless or does it wants to kill me?

The steps are slow but they eventually come into a halt right behind me, I don't hear any breathing.

" **Human. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand."**

It was a him, for sure. That voice was so deep and slurry that it must be a really scary monster. I inhaled and turned around slowly; in front of me was a dark figure, just a few inches shorter and me. Awkwardly, I arched my back a little down and shook the hand that was pointed at me.

Fart sounds. Everywhere. Hilariously, the scary mood was gone in seconds as the fart sound echoed through the forest.

I snorted, then grinned and shit, for the first time ever since I fell into this dump I laughed. What the fuck is going on?!

"he he he, the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's always funny." The supposed intimidating figure said with a content voice and expression.

Whoa, hold the fucking phone that I got for free. It was… in front of me… it's a… to be honest, really adorable chubby skeleton. No—wait, he's big boned, because he ain't go no flesh right? He was dressed what could be described me during summer. His blue unzipped hoodie allowed me to see his white turtle neck shirt, then he wore black shorts and… slippers. Is this for real? I guess he didn't feel cold because he had no skin, huh?

How am I not freaking out?

"huh… you're not the usual kid that comes through…" he mumbled. He couldn't close his mouth because as I really look at his face, he has a permanent wide grin that show his teeth, then his eye sockets are black with only two white orbs in each, watching my movements. "anyways, you're a human right?"

I nodded.

"that's hilarious. i'm Sans. Sans the skeleton."

"I'm—"

"wow. you talk?" he interrupted me, surprised.

I blinked, "Uh… yeah? Am I not supposed to?"

His eye sockets go hollow for a while before the usual white orbs come back. "i don't know… heh, I guess this time will be different."

I have no idea what the hell's he talking about, but sounds important.

"i'm actually supposed to be on watching for humans right now. but i don't really care about capturing anybody."

I take a step back, "You don't take prisoners then?" please deny that; please say something that won't make me run away.

His grin got wider, "be careful, the step behind ya is really large."

I look behind and my eyes widen, shit I wasn't stepping on the bridge at all, but on the edge of the cliff. I'm sure I could lose my balance if I took another step. Man I'm such an asshole, if this… skele-guy killed human he wouldn't have made that whoopee cushion joke. I smile at him sheepishly and rub my hands together to keep them warm.

"Sorry… but I have to be wary. I was warned about the world outside the Ruins so…"

"i understand no worries. anyways, my brother Papyrus, he's a human-hunting fanatic. hey, actually, i think that's him over there." He peeked over my torso and I followed his gaze. He was right, not so far from here, I could see a tall figure walking towards us.

"W-What-?"

"i have an idea. go through this gate thingy."

I arched my brow at the pillars and I gave him a look, " _This_ is supposed to be a gate?"

"yep, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone." I could sense affection on his voice. I couldn't help but to smile and simply obey.

I walked through the gates on the small bridge and I sensed him following him, when I was far enough I looked at him for answers, "Now what?"

He paused a little as he looked at a lamp that looked conveniently shaped like a young child. "uh—quick, hide behind my sentry station." He finally said.

"On it boss," I sprinted and used my arm muscle to hop and leap my body over the counter to the other side without wasting the time on walking around it. I landed with a soft thud on the other side, crunching the snow soundlessly. Then in a crouching position, I was able to peek and look at Sans, who gave me a wide grin, I think he was impressed with my parkour.

I watched as a taller skeleton with a slimmer boned body came into view, he halted right in front of the station, of course that he could never see me from his angle. He was wearing some kind of suit that I could only imagine from a super-hero show but what I noticed the most about him was his dope, red cape.

"sup, bro?" Sans greeted nonchalantly.

"YOU KNOW WHAT 'SUP', BROTHER." Oh my God he sounds so familiar, like… yeah, he sounds like that guy, (You know I'm talking about Skeletor) but his voice was higher and more soulful. "IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T. RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?"

"i was staring at this lamp but i was about to go back to my station to get some ketchup. want some?" Sans glanced at me and I instantly ducked down behind the station, is he trying to—that son of a-!

"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH?" I peeked again in relief and smiled quietly when Papyrus started stomping his feet on the ground angrily. It's kinda cute. "I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE!"

Now he was standing in a position that could only say 'narcissistic asshole' but… I don't know there's something about his speech that makes me believe that there's something more to him. Hell, even his cape was floating dramatically in a non-existent wind.

"RESPECT... RECOGNITION, I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO BE, MY… FRIEND…?" See? His voice cracked a little over there as he showed an unsure expression, he recovered quickly though. "I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING."

Okay I had to snort at that one, but with my mouth covered of course.

"hmm…" Sans hummed thoughtfully. "maybe there's something better than ketchup in my station that can help ya."

Fuck you Sans! Quit giving these mini heart-attacks! I ducked again and this time I saw Papyrus's head turning this way, fortunately he didn't saw me.

"SANS!" Papyrus whined angrily. "YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

Heh… boondoggle, now that's a funny word.

"hey take it easy. i've gotten a _**ton**_ of work done today. a skele- _ **ton.**_ " Sans winked at me like I was an audience. My eyes widened, did he just make a pun?! I can't believe this guy!

"SANS!" Papyrus whined, it seems like shouting his brother's name in frustration was his catchphrase. And also, his voice was funny when he did it.

"come on, you're smiling." Sans teased happily.

I looked at Papyrus and he was indeed, trying to suppress a grin.

"I AM AND I HATE IT!" he shouted. Aaww… that's so damn adorable. "WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME… HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET RECOGNITION?" he sighed.

I looked at Sans.

"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself… down to the bone." Sans winked at me again and this time I couldn't help to crack a grin. He's a punny skeleton. Or I dare to say: a spooky punny skeleton.

"UGH! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES! AS FOR YOUR WORK? PUT A LITTLE MORE, 'BACKBONE' INTO IT. NYEHEHEHEHEHE!" Oh he has jokes too uh? I watched the little bonehead laugh in delight as he run off.

I shook my head with a smile and stood up to leave the station, but Sans quickly raised his hand and signalized me to duck down. And I did, just when Papyrus came back to give a last "NYEH".

That was close…

"okay, you can come out now." Sans voice could be heard from here. I stood up and brushed the snow from my knees as I walked towards him, his toothy grin was still there, if it wasn't for his soulful eyes I wouldn't know that he's actually amused.

I stared at him and crossed my arms.

"you ought to get going. he might come back. and if he does… you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes."

I was quiet and uncertain if I should proceed or not, I glanced between the path where Papyrus disappeared and back at him.

"what's the holdup? look, there's nothing to be afraid of," My eyes lit. "it's just a dark cavern filled with skeletons and horrible monsters." I could see him giving me a mocking smile.

"Whatever," I mumbled before shoving my hands on my hoodie and walking away from him.

"actually, hey, hate to bother ya." I stopped walking to hear him out but I didn't turn around, it was too cold for that movement. "but can ya do me a favor? i was thinking… my brother's been kind of down lately. he's never seen a human before, and seeing a pretty human like ya might just make his day." Well at least my face was getting warm with his sudden compliment. "don't worry, he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be." The same affection passed through his voice again, he really loved his brother uh?

"Sure why not? He seems like a good… uh, skeleton." I cringed slightly, I couldn't say person and I didn't want to say monster even though Sans said so.

I could sense Sans smile behind me. "thanks a million. i'll be up ahead." I heard his heave footsteps crunching the snow as he walked away.

I blinked and finally looked back, he just vanished didn't he? There was no exit the other way, I could walk back to see where did he go but actually, I just want to find another of those warm lights and just save. Then my priority was to avoid any monsters and find someplace warm. Then I'd meet this Papyrus and well, probably play along with his puzzles. That'd be fun, I like puzzles… is Sudoku is considered a puzzle game I mean.

Whatever, I just need to find an exit from the Underground and start a new life up there.

And that thought filled me with determination.

* * *

 **Thanks for all the support guys! I own nothing, only my character!**


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